Someone once said, “Marriage is not finding the right person, it’s being the right person.” While there’s certainly some truth to that saying, it certainly helps if the other person is trying to “be the right person,” too. Let’s face it. It takes two committed people to have a healthy relationship. One person alone can't make it work.
While I don’t know your particular circumstances, I know one thing; you wouldn’t have come to my sight if you didn’t have some concerns about your marriage. Having 20 + years of counseling experience with couples and families, I have an idea….
The biggest problems in marriage center around, sex, money, and in-laws. And of course, another big one is infidelity. I see a number of couples every year because one of the spouses is having an affair. Or maybe it’s the spouse that’s having the affair who comes because he or she is confused and not sure what to do.
Divorce is another reason why I see couples in therapy. Most couples come as a last-ditch-effort to prevent a divorce. Sometimes, however, they’ve already made plans to divorce and are seeking advice about what impact the divorce will make on their children.
This is always a good reason to seek counseling. Divorce really does have a negative impact on children, particular at certain ages. And the effects last way into adulthood. Having them see a counselor can make a world of difference.
Of course, there’s always the husband or wife who’s having a kind of mid-life crises and just “needs time to find him or herself.” They agree to come to marriage counseling with their spouse because they really want to do the right thing. At worse, if the counseling doesn’t work, they can at lest feel like they tried.
The reasons someone seeks marriage counseling are endless. Often, one or both of the spouses are verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive. Sometimes, gambling, alcohol or drug abuse is an issue. On other occasions, one of the spouses may be suffering with anxiety or depression or another emotional problem.
It may be that you and your spouse feel you simply can’t communicate. You feel like you are too different. That no matter what the subject, you get into an argument, and the arguments are never resolved. There is ongoing resentment and repeated injury to each other. A Marriage like this can feel like a living hell.
There is no greater hurt then when we are hurt by those we love.
Right now, you may feel angry, hurt, abandoned, betrayed, ashamed. This may be your second go round and you are having serious doubts about whether you will ever find happiness. You may feel like your world is falling apart.
What ever you’re feeling. I can tell you this –Nothing is ever as bad as it seems. The sun always comes out after the rain; and the tide always turns when it’s lowest.
The problems you are facing today may well be an opportunity for you and your spouse to grow and become more mature. I have successfully worked with many couples who were able to resolve their issues:
Their seemingly unsolvable conflict became the very catalyst that brought greater intimacy and strength to their marriage.
To make an appointment or request further information call (504) 392-3498. I am always available to answer any question you may have.
LifeDimensions 1581 Carol Sue Ave., Suite 211, Gretna, LA 70056 (504) 392-3498